the origins and ethics of the first generation of
the LOUIS & IDA KRASHEN and herman & rose Marks families
and the families' first 120 years in the united states!

Direct Contributors to this piece include Howard Roy Marks, Allen Marks, Meyer Marks, Minnie Pitasky, Roberta Weksler and others to be later named.

In December 1999, Meyer & Roy called sister/Aunt Minnie to wish her a happy 91st birthday, and a long conversation ensued between Minnie, "Bobbi", Meyer and Roy, some of the contents of which were used herein!

Contributing indirectly to this piece through their letters, essays, etc. were: Isadore ("Izzy") Marks, Ralph Marks, Carl Marks, Edwin Marks, & other family members of Max & Minnie Pitasky, Harry & Betty Krashen, Leo & Julia Krashen, Boris & Ann Newmark, and Avery & Fritz Krashen.

Shortly, this essay will evolve into separate essays for the Krashen

and Marks families. We welcome additions to this saga for posterity!

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The 1st generation families of Louis & Ida Krashen and Herman & Rose Marks, as immigrants to the United States and Canada, could be described as "Jewish Secular Humanists", living ways of life similar to the style of the Jewish Eastern European communities they came from. The Marks & Krashen families identified with very high ethical standards while practicing Jewish religion traditions, even though most did not consider themselves religious. In fact, some were agnostic or atheist.

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All first generation members of the Marks and Krashen families were hard-working and highly ethical in both word and deed. They demanded that their children follow a moral high road, teaching their children to keep the de facto ethical roots found in Judaism: "Uncompromising respect for honesty, unwavering morality, and the ethic of doing honest work for honest income while being respectful of the power and leverage of education. They were a humble people who, in eastern Europe, seldom got chances for higher education, but saw how real education shaped a person! It is funny how similar the Jewish ethical and moral roots are to oriental ethics!"

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The first generation, Herman & Rose Marks and Louis & Ida Krashen, had strong respect for law enforcement, family, and the greater community. In the USA, several members of the greater Marks family, such as the Carl Marks family, succeeded in business, international trading and became philanthropists .

The second generation, children of Herman, Rose, Louis and Ida, with two exceptions on the Krashen side, also had the uncompromisingly high moral standards of their parents. Both the Krashen and Marks families worked hard to provide the opportunities and incentives for becoming educated, and were prideful that their offspring had become well-respected mathematicians, linguists, entrepreneurs, teachers, doctors, physicists, engineers, lawyers, dentists, philanthropists, and ordinary husbands, wives and general contributors to society.

The Early 20th Century Herman & Rose Marks Family

The origins of the first generation Marks family were a "mixed bag" from Poland, Russia, Belarus, Germany. Meyer Marks' parents, Herman and Rose, with several other Marks family members, immigrated from Russia to the United States in about 1902 - to escape the tyranny and anti-Semitism of Czar Nicholas. Herman was a hard-working man who delivered newspapers as his main income source, following in the early footsteps of his very successful cousin, Carl Marks. Rose helped Herman from time-to-time, but was mostly a housewife and mother. Both Herman and Rose passed away before age 70, Herman from a car accident and Rose from nephritis. Their children were, in birth order, Minnie, followed by Isadore (Izzy), Meyer and Ralph.

Herman and Rose Marks lived under modest circumstances in New York City, then Trenton, New Jersey. Herman and Rose were not "rich" but their wealth came from seeing their children succeed by valuing fairness as the only acceptable way to conduct one's life. One of their children, Ralph, joined the very successful business of Carl Marks & Co., who gave much money to charity.

Oldest child, Minnie, married Max and together they owned a furniture store business, having three children – Roger, Margie and Bobbie. First son, Izzy, though he only attended school a year beyond high school, started an automobile radio repair business, marrying a relative of Minnie's husband, May. Izzy and May adopted their daughter, Rita. Second son, Meyer, met his future wife, Sylvia, when Sylvia’s brother, Harry (Meyer’s college buddie at Purdue University), introduced them in Chicago. Finally, youngest son, Ralph married Sid, having two children, Carol and Kenneth. As mentioned, Ralph worked his whole life in the family business of cousin, Carl Marks.

Meyer Marks, the 3rd child of Herman & Rose, was born in Brooklyn, New York. He worked his way through both high school and college. There were no grants or any type aid for students when he went to school. So, when he was in New York, Meyer kept odd jobs, as a busboy, delivery person for milk and a butcher shop, and other odd jobs. After graduation from Purdue, Meyer continued education at Chicago Technical College (CTC), with Meyer earning money through jobs at the university cafeteria and anything where he could trade honest labor for honest wages. During his time at CTC and Purdue, cousin Carl, surprised Meyer occasionally by sending Meyer money to supplement his funds. Meyer suspected that perhaps his mother, Rose, might have asked Carl Marks to help Meyer out!

Typical of the Greater Marks family's strongly positive morality ethic, even though second cousin, Carl Marks and family members' George Marks and Edwin Marks became very wealthy, they set up a network of philanthropic beneficial trusts that were donors and trustees for a number of art, music, scholastic, medical and scholarship endeavors, including the Juilliard School of Music. Of particular note to Roy's family, Edwin Marks, a trustee of Juilliard, in 2002, told Roy he would prepare a scholarship for Roy's son, David, until his untimely passing in April 2003.

The Early 20th Century Louis & Ida Krashen Family

The pre-20th century origins of Louis and Ida (Kapper) Krashen were similar to the Herman and Rose Marks family. Louis and Ida also came from eastern Europe and immigrated to the USA about year 1902. Louis had some roots in Kiev, Warsaw and Belarus while Ida's history is less well defined, thought to be most ancestors coming from Russia, where Louis and Ida apparently met. In Chicago, Louis worked as a men’s clothing presser while Ida was a dedicated housewife. The eldest sibling was Ann, followed by Avery, Leo, Harry, Sylvia and Sidney.

Ann, who never went to college, married Boris, a real estate developer, and they had two children, Dolly and Florence. Ann took active part in the family real estate business, as did Florence's husband, Fred Falander.

Avery, who went into the US army in WW2, later became a dentist, marrying Anne (Fritz). Fritz was the early breadwinner, allowing Avery to, with no money worries, become a dentist. Avery and Fritz had three children, Betty, Susan and Nancy. Only later in life did Fritz attend college, to the chagrin of Avery.

Leo became, first, a CPA (accountant) and lawyer, later a businessman, marrying Julia, having two children, Gloria and Stephen.

Harry got his degree in civil engineering at Purdue University where he met Meyer. After college, Harry joined the Navy during WW2. Later in life, in his 40s, Harry dated and married, as he said to Roy and Stephen, the "love of his life", Betty Jean, and they had two children, Tommy and Robert.

Sylvia was the next child, followed by Sidney. Sidney joined the army during WW2, but lost his life in Germany.

Fiddler on the Roof

To Understand the prior habitat of the Krashen and Marks families

in last decade of 19th century Eastern Europe, it is helpful to examine

the habitat of the setting for the opera, "Fiddler on the Roof"!

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The setting for "Fiddler on the Roof" was a close-knit Jewish community, surrounded by many people, some of whom wanted to take unfair advantage of the Jews or expel them. Tevye, the featured father in the opera, was part of a Jewish community composed of people that had high ethical and moral standards. It was easy to teach generations of children the proper balance between compassion, caring and being careful to have an adequate defensive posture against toxic people. All the parents had to do was ask the children to examine the toxic behavior of the inhabitants that surrounded Tevye's Jewish community. Even Tevye's daughter who married a non-Jew, was able to successfully chose a non-toxic, compassionate, mate!

Fast forward to the United States just after 1900. The "Tevye's" in the Krashen and Marks families, Herman and Louis, were very ethical and well-meaning human beings in every sense. To steal a phrase from Meyer Marks, "There wasn't a bad bone in their bodies"! The same held for Rose Marks, whose every thought and action was to make the world a better place for her children and everyone!

• Because early society in the USA was much less toxic than Eastern Europe, with fewer "bad examples" of toxic human beings, Louis & Ida Krashen and Herman & Rose Marks may have over-emphasized the value of compassionate caring and under-emphasized teaching their children to be careful in making creating relationships with people who might be toxic or uncaring. As the reader knows, many common people have negative, selfish or even criminal agendas that they keep well-hidden.
• The art of the con man is in convincing people that he is honest and not a con man.
• When a compassionate and caring person seeks to find a mate, it is necessary to assure that the potential mate does not possess toxic or severely negative traits, certainly as important as assuring they are also caring and compassionate!

The ethics of the entire Herman and Rose Marks family - including the families of Carl, Edwin and George Marks - of the same generation, were all of extremely high moral turpitude, teaching their children the extreme value of compassion and caring.

However, there was a downside to Herman's and Rose's family in that they did not teach Izzy, Meyer or Ralph the perspective of carefully looking for clues that might indicate toxic tendencies in prospective mates. The naivety of all three brothers led them to choose mates who, though they had compassion and caring, had some degree of toxicity and narcissism, which resulted in some generational trickle-down toxicity, with Meyer's family being the hardest hit.

Ida Krashen: Family Member with a toxic trait

Ida Krashen, being from Eastern Europe, was largely a woman of compassion and caring, but had bouts of jealousy and a lust for control, often rebelling at husband Louis' generosity and selfless giving of himself to his children, relatives and strangers. Louis taught his children total compassion and caring, but Ida gave some of her children mixed signals, confusing or toxic to children in their formative years.

Louis & Ida's 2nd son, Harry, observed that Ida had three "favorite" children: Leo, himself and Sidney. They were treated much more kindly by Ida than Ann, Avery and Sylvia. Ann, luckily, was a daddy's girl and "left home" early, marrying Boris. But Avery & Sylvia had a "Big brother & kid sister" role that overpowered the parental roles of Louis & Ida; ten years apart, Harry said they were inseparable, even after Avery and Sylvia married. Later in life Sylvia took some responsibility for her parents, while Dr Avery Krashen, DDS, tried to be "medical director" for his parents.

Roy's psychotherapist friend suggested that Ida's toxic parental role to Avery and Sylvia, combined with Avery's and Sylvia's unnatural, super-strong, big Brother/kid sister relationship, may have contributed to the misbehavior of both Avery and Sylvia toward their immediate families, described below. This may have led to a "trickle-down", manifesting itself in the toxic antisocial behavior of Sylvia, but especially to the 2nd of Sylvia's sons, Jeremy and Jeremy's son, Chris, the only Krashen & Marks family members with a legal history of family abuse and felony criminal convictions.

What about Avery Krashen?

Most people feel that Avery Krashen was a well-meaning, nice guy that was happy to do favors for everyone. In large part, the authors to his essay agree that, on the surface, Avery presented a general image, to the outside world, of being a "good man." But, many people don't know the whole story of Avery, as Avery, like Batman's arch-enemy "2 face", had two faces - with one of Avery's faces having victimized his entire blood-related immediate family except for one member. All other family members sustained lasting damage, especially his wife, Fritz.

Many with a knowledge of Avery's life, likely know that Avery, before and while married, maintained having a mistress, Betty, his dental assistant, likely from ~1932 to her death in 1979. Long after Fritz and Avery started having their children, Fritz found out about Avery's affair when her mother told Fritz that she saw Avery and Betty joyously walking, talking and holding hands on a Chicago street. A fine reward for Fritz being breadwinner while Avery attended dental school. After Betty's death, even though married to Fritz, Avery took on a 2nd mistress, also his dental assistant, having the audacity to move his new mistress into the marital home. Later, when Fritz passed away, Avery married mistress #2.

Like Ida, Avery also played favorites with his children, his youngest daughter, Nancy, being his favorite. If Avery had treated his three daughters evenhandedly, this wouldn't have been bad. But he didn't. Avery totally catered to Nancy while partially or sometimes fully shunning both Betty and Susan, older than Nancy by 11 and 7 years, respectively. Betty's and Susan's higher education started in 1954 through ~1965, with both daughters lacking sufficient college funding, both needing to study and work, both ultimately changing schools to afford remaining in school. But, when Nancy went to high school in ~1960, Avery funded Nancy's entry into the University of Chicago high school, having ignored Betty's and Susan's immediate needs for college for almost a decade. Avery continued this preferential treatment, minimizing his two older daughters' needs while he funded Nancy's education to become an MD! Could Avery have afforded it? How much does it cost to cater to a mistress? Maybe Avery should've demanded Fritz go back to work to pay for her older two daughters' education, same as she did for Avery's DDS??!!??

Both of Avery's older children, especially Susan, felt that Avery was cold-blooded to them, even at the end when Avery left his whole estate to his 2nd mistress, turned wife, creating an environment where he played family members against each other. This negative behavior bled into Roy's family, too, described elsewhere in this essay. How many times have family members or close friends heard Avery say, "You wouldn't believe what I heard about --- " followed by a very convincing story.

From about 1926 on, when Sylvia was in grade and high school, Avery was "big brother" to Sylvia, who, like her mom, was very "headstrong". Hence, while in grade and high school, "big brother" Avery acted the role of being Sylvia's "parent." Sylvia shunned authority, often in conflict with Leo and Harry, who had no "power" to analyze or change things. Because Sylvia looked to Avery as her "parental" while in school, both Louis and Ida, according to Harry, abdicated responsibility to Avery for Sylvia in high school. Sylvia was so headstrong that, even though she had a burning desire to become a nurse, she got into a battle with a teacher in high school - and quit school at age 16, with Avery's blessing, forever thwarting her dream of becoming a nurse. What was Avery thinking when Sylvia quit school? He was 26.

Meyer and Sylvia get married

Fast forward to 1939 when Harry brought his college buddy, Meyer, who was graduating from Purdue University, to a holiday dinner. Sylvia was introduced to Meyer and they were married a few weeks later. Meyer was a shy man, suffering with acne on his face, which likely affected his self esteem.

In 1942, Roy was born in Camden NJ while Meyer worked at RCA Electronics, in a job, part of the war effort, that gave him a deferment from serving in the military in WW2. Moving to Chicago, 1944-1948, Meyer and Sylvia moved into the same apartment building, on Spaulding Avenue, that parents, Louis and Ida lived, along with Ida's brother and sister, Sam and Chavid.

Unfortunately, Sylvia developed a spine/back condition which kept her "flat on her back" for maybe 18 months, during which time, Ida became Roy's "mother figure". Fortunately, Roy's experience with Ida was positive, as Roy became a "favored" child, but Roy could detect that there was conflict between Ida, Sylvia and Louis, feeling the tension. And Roy, in close contact with Ida from age 2-6, and even thru age 12, even after Meyer and Sylvia moved out of the Spaulding building, as Sylvia made daily trips back to her parents.

Fast forward to the late 1940s and 1950s, both Meyer and Roy could not do anything that wouldn't create a "control" scene with Sylvia demanding control. Roy and Meyer bonded strongly, with Meyer's interest in technology, science, math, medicine starting an avalanche of interest in Roy. Meyer and Roy built a reflecting telescope, built an amateur radio transmitter and receiver, antennas, all from scratch, etc., which infuriated Sylvia, as she could not take control of Roy's and Meyer's relationship. When Uncle Harry came over, taking Roy on trips, sometimes with Stephen, Sylvia generally said, "NO", but Meyer and Harry agreed, "yes". Uncle Harry, discussed Meyer's and Sylvia's marriage with Roy during a trip to Mount Rushmore, politely saying that Sylvia liked to control things, and to call him if there were family problems. Meyer did call Harry a few times on this, enraging Sylvia!

Jeremy and Allen are born

When Jeremy was born in 1952, Sylvia coddled and controlled Jeremy's every move. Sylvia kept Meyer at "arm's length, saying, "I know better than you what Jeremy needs". Sylvia also kept Roy at "arm's length" from Jeremy, too, insisting on doing "everything" for him, even later at school times.

When Allen was born in 1955, his prenatal position was "feet first" and the doctor recommended a C-Section. Big Brother, Avery, told Sylvia, "Absolutely not" as forceps can easily rotate the child into correct position with no danger. So Sylvia said, "Absolutely NOT, I refuse to be cut, no matter what", stating that she trusted "brother, Dr Krashen's", advice. Roy was there, age 12.5, when Sylvia made her statement to the doctor, as they entered Hinsdale Hospital. Just after birth, Meyer gave Roy Allen to hold, being shocked at the lacerations and blood on Allen's head!

As a result, the doctor's forceps crushed the top of Allen's head and chin (lacerating both) and crushed Allen's right ear, making it stone deaf for life. WTH!! Later, Allen didn't walk or talk for more than a year, and was determined what DSM might diagnose as EMH. In retrospect, Avery knew full well what Allen's retardation was from, but, told Sylvia and Meyer that Allen's retardation was from not being tested for PKU with no supplements, and/or he propounded more reasons as to why Allen was not normal, including that maybe Meyer's genes and chromosomes were bad!

After Allen's birth, when Allen came home from the hospital, and Sylvia hoarded both Jeremy and Allen from Meyer and Roy or anyone else, Sylvia stating that "she knew best" for them and could do things best.

The next few years were a reign of Sylvia shouting, mostly at Jeremy and Allen, but also at Roy and Meyer. Meyer retreated to his basement to escape Sylvia's shrill voice, ineffectively intervening for Jeremy and Allen, as Sylvia always called big brother, Avery, if there was a power struggle, with Avery always intervening on Sylvia's side. It is sad that Jeremy and Allen bore the brunt of Sylvia's (and Avery's supporting) narcissism and controlling actions.

Roy leaves the Marks Household for UIUC

At the age of 17, June 8, 1960, Roy graduated from Hinsdale High School. Uncle Leo, unannounced, came to the Marks household in Clarendon Hills, Illinois, stating to Roy, "Come on, Roy, let's visit cousin Steve at school at University of Illinois"! Roy was excited to go! Sylvia was argumentative, but Meyer thought it was a great idea and agreed with Leo for Roy to go! At that time, Allen was 5 years old and Jeremy was 8. So Roy left with Leo.

On Roy's and Leo's visit with Steve, as Roy had graduated high school, he found serenity away from Sylvia so wonderful, that he asked Leo if he could start school that summer. Exploring the possibility, the university said, "yes" and Roy's housing would be as 5th roommate with Steven in the basement of a house in Urbana.

Transcripts and clothes, books, amateur radio "rig", etc. were brought down to Roy, and Roy took pre-calculus and rhetoric as his summer subjects. He enjoyed the school atmosphere so much, he never went back to live with Sylvia, regretting not having much contact with father, Meyer or Jeremy or Allen, even if he was kept away from his brothers by Sylvia.

Roy spent a year at University of Illinois, subsequently transferring to University of Illinois at Navy Pier (prior to UIC being built), then to Roosevelt University, where he graduated with his BS in Physics and Mathematics. Roy spent 4 more years taking masters and pre-doctoral courses in physics and mathematics/statistics, stopping short of getting his masters degree due to his advisor at DePaul University moving to Nevada to work at Los Alamos Laboratories. During college, Roy continuously worked at a Zenith Electronics subsidiary until his BS degree, then for IIT Research Institute as a Physicist through 1971.

Jeremy Goes to College

In retrospect, the life of Jeremy and Allen Marks under Sylvia had to be much worse than Roy had it with Sylvia having to be in control 24/7. The only way Roy could describe it was like being in a pressure cooker. Roy was able to escape by going to the University of Illinois. But Jeremy and Allen, like Meyer, were locked into a no-win situation.

Finally, Jeremy finally graduated high school and started going to Kendall College. Roy never did find out what Jeremy wanted to major in, as he didn't stay more than 2 or 3 semesters. When visiting Jeremy, Roy could never catch him studying, only playing cards, gambling or smoking something that wasn't cigarettes or marijuana. Much later, after 2003, two of Jeremy's friends told me that Jeremy dropped out of school because he had not been able to keep his grades up and that he was into drugs, which Jeremy denied.